Notes On…Feeling Stuck

There’s a unique frustration in feeling stuck—knowing what you want, maybe even knowing what’s holding you back, yet remaining in place. Despite all the insight, something keeps pulling you into the same patterns, the same fears, the same hesitation. It’s not a lack of effort—it’s something deeper.

Psychodynamically, feeling stuck is rarely about the present. It’s about the past quietly steering the ship. The unconscious holds onto early relational experiences, internalized messages, and defense mechanisms that once kept us safe but now act as barriers. We may crave change, but if that change threatens a long-held survival strategy, resistance kicks in—not as a flaw, but as protection.

Take the client who longs for connection yet instinctively pushes people away. Or the person who dreams of success but fears failure so much they never start. These aren’t random obstacles; they are echoes of unresolved fears. We repeat what is unhealed, drawn back to familiar patterns even when they hurt.

So how do we move forward? Not by pushing harder, but by listening more deeply. Instead of treating resistance as the enemy, we ask: What is this protecting me from? Where have I felt this before? Therapy becomes a space where these patterns emerge in real time—how a client self-edits, seeks approval, or avoids discomfort mirrors deeper relational wounds. And in that space, something new can unfold.

Feeling stuck isn’t failure; it’s an invitation. A call to slow down, turn inward, and untangle what’s been frozen in time. When we stop fighting our resistance and start understanding it, we loosen its grip. And only then—when we truly acknowledge what holds us back—does real movement become possible.