Notes On… Between Knowing and Doing

One of the most fascinating paradoxes in therapy is when clients have deep, clear insight into their struggles—sometimes even a well-mapped plan for change—yet find themselves unable to take action. They know what needs to be done. They’ve dissected their patterns, strategized solutions, and even spoken their next steps out loud. And yet, when the moment comes to act, something stops them. A hesitation. A fear. A quiet but powerful uncertainty.

This isn’t about a lack of intelligence or self-awareness. In fact, it’s often the most self-aware clients who wrestle with this the most. The real issue lies in the gap between intellectual understanding and emotional readiness. The mind knows, but the heart isn’t there yet. Change isn’t just about logic—it’s about stepping into the unknown, where familiar patterns no longer offer their false sense of safety.

That’s where courage comes in. And here’s the thing about courage: it’s not the absence of fear. It’s the willingness to move forward with fear still present. Often, what people need isn’t more insight, but permission to take imperfect action—to trust themselves enough to step forward, even when they don’t feel fully ready.

As a therapist, my job isn’t to hand out advice or tell people what to do. That would rob them of the very thing therapy is meant to cultivate—self-trust, agency, and ownership over their lives. Instead, I walk alongside them, creating a space where courage can take root. Because the real work isn’t in knowing the answer—it’s in living it. And sometimes, the biggest breakthrough isn’t a moment of insight but the first brave step into the unknown.