Notes On… Between Knowing and Doing
I often witness a common paradox in the therapy journey: clients who, with clarity and tremendous insight, articulate exactly what they need to do yet find themselves paralyzed when following through. They know the path forward, or even many path forwards, have dissected their challenges and even crafted strategies to overcome them. Yet, when the moment arrives to act, something holds them back—a quiet hesitation, a lingering fear, a deep-seated uncertainty.
This struggle isn't about ignorance or a lack of insight. On the contrary, it’s about the gap between intellectual understanding and emotional readiness. The mind knows, but the heart is unsure. It’s in this space that real transformation often falters.
Courage, I’ve learned, isn’t the absence of fear; it’s the willingness to act despite it. For many, the barrier isn't in the knowing but in the doing, in taking that first step into the unknown, where the safety net of familiar patterns no longer exists. It’s here, at this precipice, where the work truly begins—not just in offering guidance but in helping clients cultivate the inner strength to trust themselves and their ability to navigate the complexities of their lives.
As therapists, we are often advised, and rightly so, to refrain from giving direct advice. Instead, we explore possibilities and create a space where clients can find the courage to step into their own lives fully. While the answers may seem clear, the real challenge lies in living them out. Ultimately, therapy is about helping clients take responsibility for their lives and decisions. Advice from a therapist can diminish this responsibility by suggesting that the therapist knows best. Instead, we encourage clients to weigh their options, consider the consequences, and make choices that are best for them, reinforcing their sense of ownership over their lives. My role is to walk alongside, to hold that space, and to believe in my clients' capacity for courage, even when they struggle to see it themselves.
