Notes On… Fixing vs. Accepting

Life has a way of throwing challenges at us, forcing us to decide: do we try to fix the problem, or do we learn to accept it? These two responses aren’t opposites—they’re partners in the messy, beautiful process of growth. The trick is knowing when to act and when to let go.

Fixing comes naturally to many of us. We see a problem, and our instinct is to solve it. We research, make plans, take action—because doing something feels better than doing nothing. It gives us control, direction, and the hope that things will improve. And sometimes, fixing is exactly what’s needed. If you’re drowning in debt, fixing means making a budget, cutting expenses, or finding extra income. If your relationship is struggling, fixing might involve open conversations, couples therapy, or setting new boundaries. Taking action is empowering—it reminds us that we are not powerless.

But not everything can be fixed. And that’s where acceptance comes in.

Acceptance is often misunderstood as giving up, but it’s actually an act of courage. It means recognizing reality as it is, instead of exhausting ourselves fighting against what we can’t control. If you’re living with chronic pain, you might try every treatment available—but at some point, the path forward might not be about fixing, but about learning how to live fully alongside it. Acceptance doesn’t mean liking the situation—it means making peace with what is, so suffering doesn’t consume you.

The truth is, fixing and accepting work best together. Some problems require both—first, we accept the reality of what is, and then we decide what we can change. When we learn to balance these two, we navigate life with both resilience and grace.

So, the next time you face a challenge, ask yourself: What can I change, and what do I need to accept? The answer might surprise you.